The Importance of Rituals in Community

Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief

The heart that breaks open can contain the whole universe.

The Sacred Work of Grief

Inspired by The Wild Edge of Sorrow by Francis Weller

I have been fascinated by grief rituals ever since I attended one near Riondel on the Eastern Shore of Kootenay Lake in 2022 to process my losses.

Grief and loss touch every one of us, and we can transform these experiences into meaningful ones that shape the way we live and love.

In the depths of my sorrow, I discovered something essential: kindness, born out of knowing how painful life can be.

I believe it is part of my purpose to host community grief rituals, to help us remember how to mourn together and, in doing so, to heal.

You can never fully know what someone else is carrying, the losses they’ve endured, what those losses mean to them, or how they may have changed them forever.

Grief asks that we honour our losses and, in doing so, deepen our capacity for compassion. It is through communion with our grief that we can truly heal, and we must allow ourselves to share our grief with trusted peers and process it with the community.

Grief was never meant to be dealt with alone, yet we're taught to "suck it up," "be strong," and "get over it."

This is not the way.

The path is through, not around.

Honouring the descent in a culture that primarily values the ascent is a challenging task.

"Approaching sorrow requires an enormous amount of psychic strength. To tolerate the rigours of engaging in the images, emotions, memories, and dreams that arise in times of grief, we need to fortify our interior ground. Any form will do - writing, drawing, meditation, prayer, dance, or something else - as long as we can continue to show up and maintain our effort. This deepens our capacity to hold the vulnerable emotions surrounding loss without being overwhelmed. Grief work is not passive; it implies an ongoing practice of deepening, attending, and listening. It is an act of devotion rooted in love and compassion." ( Francis Weller, pg. 5 - The Wild Edge of Sorrow)

Grief Rituals for the Community

🕊 Talking Circle - We gather in stillness, grounded by breath and gentle movement. The circle opens - a place where sorrow can be spoken, not solved. Here, we practice deep listening, honouring each voice without interruption or advice. We speak from the heart, not about others, but from the raw truth of our being. What is shared in this space stays in this space. Sacred ground.

🌊 Stone Ritual - A shrine is made: water at the center, stones encircling like witnesses. Each person steps forward, stone in hand, and offers their grief aloud - if they wish. The stone is placed in the water, sorrow given form and surrendered. When all have spoken, the water, heavy with truth, is carried out and poured into the earth. It becomes nourishment for the green world. The stones, held by a river or sea, are washed clean once more.

🌿 Speaking to the Earth - Find a quiet place in nature. Dig a small hollow in the soil. Offer thanks to the Earth for her endless capacity to hold what we cannot. Make an offering - tobacco, ash, a flower - then speak your grief. Let it pour out: through words, tears, sobs, even silence. Lie belly to the ground, and let the Earth drink what weighs on your soul. When it feels complete, give thanks. Gently close the opening, returning the earth to stillness. As if nothing happened — yet everything has.

What to Bring:

• A journal and pen

• A water bottle and/or tea thermos (optional)

• Items for your personal comfort during circle time (cushions, blankets, cozy layers, etc.)

• Sleeping items if you’ll be resting in the ceremony space

• Personal offerings for our Collective Praise Altar — photos of loved ones, mementos, or anything that evokes a sense of gratitude, joy, or reverence in you

• A stone for our Stone Ritual — ideally found in nature before the retreat, one that feels meaningful to you and ready to be part of this ceremonial weekend