The Five Gates of Grief

"Where there is sorrow, there is holy ground." - Oscar Wilde

Everything We Love, We Will Lose

Knowing this, we can choose to love more deeply and stay open to the ache of loss. There is infinite love, and there is endless loss. Grief keeps our hearts open to love, allowing us to remember, with tenderness, how others have touched our lives. Your grief speaks to your capacity to love. It says you let another being into the core of your heart. Grief is a form of praise. It is the soul’s way of honouring the depth of connection. To love is to accept the sacred rites of grief.

The Places That Have Not Known Love

This is the grief that lives in the parts of ourselves that have gone untouched by compassion. These are profoundly tender places, shaped by rejection, silence, or shame. Parts of us that were never welcomed, that were hidden away or cast aside. And yet, they ache to be held.

The Suffering of the World

Much of the grief we carry is not only personal. It is collective. Even if we don’t consciously recognize it, our hearts register the daily losses: vanishing species, collapsing ecosystems, displaced communities.

It takes effort to ignore the pain of the world. Whether it's the grief of witnessing homelessness on our streets or the heartbreak of mass tragedy, we are wired to feel it. When sorrow visits our communities, it affects us all.

Recently, a mass killing took place in Vancouver, British Columbia, where I live. Eleven lives were lost, including children, due to a violent act committed by an individual in crisis. If you feel moved to support, you can donate here:

GoFundMe: Vancouver Festival Tragedy.

What We Expected and Did Not Receive

At the core of this grief is the longing to belong. It is a primal need that is woven into our survival. That once lived in the fabric of village life and extended family. We are shaped by a deep yearning to be seen, held, and included.

Another dimension of this grief touches on the purpose we sensed we were meant to live out. Many of us carry an unspoken knowledge that we came here with gifts and offerings intended to serve and nourish the community. When these gifts go unrecognized or unused, a quiet sorrow takes root.

Ancestral Grief

This grief lives in our bones, carried in our bodies from the unresolved sorrows of those who came before us. Some of our ancestors crossed oceans, leaving behind homes and loved ones. Others were stolen from their lands, forced into slavery and disconnection. Many arrived here disoriented, far from their traditions and ways of life.

Cut off from ancestral roots, they lived between two worlds, trying to build something lasting from fragments. Their unspoken grief lives on in us, still seeking acknowledgment and healing.