on Grief

One of the most meaningful essays I’ve ever read on grief was written by Michael Stone, a respected voice in Buddhism, mental health, and wellness. Michael was a guest lecturer with Modo International, where I completed my yoga teacher training in 2014, just a few months after the sudden and tragic loss of my sister, Jessica.

I didn’t know of Michael Stone at the time, but his essay somehow found its way to me shortly after. It held a mirror to my sorrow and helped me feel less alone in my grief.

I sobbed alone on my pillow many nights and prayed my co-workers wouldn't notice my puffy eyes the next day. Waking up for my 9-to-5 job took every ounce of strength.

Michael Stone was well-known and widely admired. I imagine that, like many in the wellness field, he didn’t speak often of his inner struggles. Instead, he immerses himself in helping others heal.

But healing others doesn’t exempt us from our pain. In 2017, just three years after Jessica, Michael died from an accidental overdose. In the absence of adequate and efficient mental health support, he sought relief from street medicine. A reality all too familiar to many.

Jessica, too, had lost the love of her life, Christian Hellman, to an accidental overdose. Aside from the funeral, she was given no space to grieve. She barely paused, throwing herself into work, eventually landing a prestigious job in Dubai. And that’s where she died, surrounded by strangers.

We were young. We didn’t understand the devastating ripple effects of unacknowledged, unhealed grief. She needed more time to heal. So did I. However, culturally, we were told to be strong, move on, and keep going.

These personal losses have profoundly shaped my perspective. We must offer grace not only to those we love but also to those who work in the healing professions. Too often, we assume that teachers, guides, and wellness practitioners are immune to suffering, but in truth, many are drawn to this work precisely because of their struggles.

They know intimately the pain of being unwell, the isolation of emotional turmoil, and the yearning for healing.

Let us remember: those who carry light for others often know the darkness too well. And sometimes, their inner fires are flickering.

Michael Stone on Grief